|'Dark Light'- by Stephanie Tihanyi|
(all copyrights held by the artist)
|'Dark Light'- by Stephanie Tihanyi|
(all copyrights held by the artist)
|Detail-from 'A Mote in gods eye'-by Stephanie Tihanyi|
(all copyright held by the artist)
|Painting by Stephanie Tihanyi (all copyright held by the artist)|
Detail-from 'A Mote in gods eye'-by Stephanie Tihanyi
(all copyrights held by the artist)
|(copyright held by artist)|
|The Ruby Horse- oil painting by Stephanie Tihanyi (copyright held by artist)|
I knew the other kids were not really bad. I also knew I was not doing anything bad that I could perceive, yet I could not understand this mystery. The lack of understanding was painful. My need for an asnwer lead me to create a theory. Somehow I came to reason, it was my social neediness for others, that put others off, (others, meaning other children, (adults, I had no problems with)). In an attempt to understand and control the situation, I figured, this is what made people withdraw. At last! I had an answer that gave me a sense of meaning and understanding. If I did not show to much social neediness, no matter how lonely I felt, I would not get rejected and no one would be at fault. If I showed I had a need or yearning for friends I risked being despised by them. Such childhood experiences such as these, are very emotionaly painful among those of us with aspergers and its not unusual for us tho carry these types of emotional defenses into our adulthood, as Lynne Soraya, writing on Asperger's Diary explains here, they can color our lifelong relationships with people.
|Painting by Stephanie Tihanyi (copyright held by artist)|
"Dark Fluid sits in pools, in the gravitation wells, of the rippled fabric, of expanding space /time" (a detail of) 'Dark Energy'- by Stephanie Tihanyi(copyright held by artist)
From the beginning of 2013 I have begun to embark on a new journey in my life and my art. I had felt a universal pressure to finish and start a new more focused, deeper track to explore my own unique potential as early as 2012. That year felt for me to be a year where all things finally reach the end of an evolutionary cycle. A reckoning of things coming to pass, where conclusions or revelations are finally reveled or wrapped up, whether its positive of negative depends upon the activities cause and effect and how it is handled . These things could be external in our environment or they could be things taking place on a level deeply inside us. I think I accepted this changing and as a result experienced an an awakening and expansion of awareness of myself and the world around me. My thoughts have lead me to what force leads to this expansion. By what manner or means do we increase and expand in consciousness ( the expansion of new neural pathways in the brain). Does inspiration have a physical relation to quantum reality? . I guess one could look for a religious, spiritual or pseudo science explanation but I do not want to go that far, (its not far enough). Through my artistic imagery, I only wish to explore, with fascinated curiosity, the interesting mirrors and patterns that occur in subjective experience and the nature of the universe, without trying to play scientist or get religious.
Dark energy and what dark energy is, is a topic of interest and speculation among the world’s scientific theorists of today. It is at the cutting edge of our current ideas about the very nature of the universe in which we live and more. Current research seems to prove that all energy is expanding in the universe and this mysterious dark energy is thought to be the reason for this.
'Dark Energy' - by Stephanie Tihanyi
So what is this dark energy?
There’s two main ideas, one that it’s a constant uniform energy filling all space, or its is a fluctuating energy, that can vary its presence in space and time. I like the second one, called 'Quinessence'. Of course many things about dark energy are still matters of speculation. Evidence of it still not straight forward but its three pillars are,
(a) the fact that the universe is accelerating in its expansion, (b) a theoretical need for an alternative energy that is not matter or dark matter to form the observed flat universe, (c) it explains large wave- patterns of mass density in the universe.
detail of 'Dark Energy' by Stephanie Tihanyi (copyright held by artist)
In quintessence, dark energy has a large wave length and has a light field but it is moving and dynamic, it dose not clump together to form dense stuff like matter, it, unlike the uniform constant theories of dark energy, can be an attracting or repulsing force depending on the rate of its movement and potential energy. It can shift and ripple in strength, action and behavior.
A new body of artwork
It is my desire to explore these themes in my work in a more intense and focused way. By the end of April, I will no longer run the gallery and will be able to devote my time and energy to this work. It is my aim to be able to complete enough work within a year to find a gallery to hold a solo exhibition outside of my locale.
|The Electric Flamboyant by Stephanie Tihanyi (copyright held by artist)|
|Flamboyant Flux - 2009 by Stephanie Tihanyi (copyright held by artist)|
Flowers have sophisticated ways of communicating, that until recently were unknown, according to new research by scientists at Bristol’s School of Biological Sciences http://www.bristol.ac.uk/biology/ . According to new research lead by, Professor Daniel Robert , "pollinators such as bumble bees are able to find and distinguish electrical signal fields given out by flowers. From their research they reveal, flowers produce bright colors, strong patterns and fragrances to entice their pollinators. Now researchers have found flowers have their own electrical equivalent of a neon sign. They create distinct patterns of electrical signals. Plants are charged negatively, due to being grounded. Bees on the other hand require a positive charge, up to 200 volts as they fly through the air; the bumble bee generates this in the hairs of their body. When the bee approaches a flower their electrical signals interact and when the bee leaves, the flowers electrical field is change for some time after. Researchers believe the flower lets the bee know the honest status of it nectar and pollen supplies, and also , how long ago, it was visited by another bee. The flower and the bee share an electrical relationship. It is also shown that electricity boosts flowers other tools too, such as color. Researchers are speculating if it is possible, electrical fields happen when humans and other animals interact with flowers also. "When you bend over to sniff a flower, will it change the flowers electrical potential?" says Professor Daniel Robert. Indeed!
In my painting I explore my passionate love of flowers, not only as pretty colorful objects but on a deeper level, sensing them acutely and in great detail. These are two paintings I did in a series of large flower paintings beginning in 2009 and still ongoing. The subject is the Flamboyant Tree of the tropics, (Delonix regia ), also known as the Flame Tree. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delonix_regia It is one of the most strikingly colorful trees when in flower. The whole tree turns a vivid red that can be seen for miles. I looked at just a singular flower cluster for study. Painting images are taken from my website: Stephanie Tihanyi http://stephanietihanyi.net/Home_Page.html
My earlier flower work was much more simpler, though the more I am studying them, the more information I am able to sense. When I study these blooms, the color is what is most striking and then I am drawn to the incredible detail in the intricate patterns on the petals made by colours and by the vein structures. The whole thing seems to give off energy, that travels along the routes of the veins and is expended out at the ends, into the environment.
Electric Flamboyant - 2009 by Stephanie Tihanyi
When I am so highly focused and open to the flowers information it can feel like the neurons are firing up in my brain, mirroring the flowers energy. I know it sounds a bit nuts but that's how it literaly feels. I have a friend, Douglas Eby, who says this is a trait of the Highly Sensitive Personality :
he is a psychologist, author and researcher who also writes a blog: The Creative Mind. He has a name for such an experiences; latent inhibition.
In his blog: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/creative-mind/2010/10/highly-sensitive-and-creative-latent-inhibition/ he states;
"One technical term for the personality trait of high sensitivity is “sensory processing sensitivity” – One study, for example, found that the brains of creative people appear to be more open to incoming stimuli from the surrounding environment." Psychologist Elaine Aron, PhD is probably the leading expert on high sensitivity, or more technically, sensitivity.sensory processing She writes “About 15 to 20 percent of the population have this trait.“It means you are aware of subtleties in your surroundings,a great advantage in many situations.
“It also means you are more easily overwhelmed when you have been out in a highly stimulating environment for too long, bombarded by sights and sounds until you are exhausted.” Douglas Eby, who has interviewed Aron says, 'An HSP herself, Aron reassures other Highly Sensitive People that they are quite normal, and that their trait is not a flaw or a syndrome, nor is it a reason to brag. It is an asset they can learn to use and protect'.
When I am painting or observing the flower, it seems a if I am both acutely sensitive to all stimulation and intently focused at the same time. I extend all my senses as far as they will go. The only other time I can do this is in the bush, in the countryside. I get too overwhelmed otherwise. Other people normally operate in the middle but I seem to be able to pull the two extremes of this spectrum and hold them together at the same time. It’s a state that you can defiantly sense in your nervous system and with prolonged use, when working for a long time on something, your brain can feel hot and you can feel dissociated. This effect can last hours after and is not good to everyday other activities. I find the best way to "get back out of my head again" is to energize the other part of yourself, your body. A good run or vigorous swim is the best way to re-set your biological nervous system.
|Sanctuary of Kali - S. Tihanyi |
(copyright held by artist)
Nearly a year ago I discovered from a psychiatrist I have what is known as Asperger’s syndrome. Some view it as a form of high functioning autism, however on the eve of my discovery, I find it has been, (with much controversy) removed from the DMS 5 and is now seen as a mild form of autism.(ASD). Learning I have this syndrome has been a huge help in dispelling my lifelong confusion, of why other people have an ability to do things I cannot, like have an ease and flow in communication between each other, that is often a mystery to me. How I either make people laugh or piss them off, without even ever understanding how, and other things.
People that do get to know me, find me smart and at the same time socially clueless, while others totally misunderstand me or even dislike me.
The knowledge and research into the syndrome is most recent, so I cannot fault any childhood pediatrician ‘if I had ever seen any’ in my youth for not diagnosing me or my parents for not supporting me more, though in light of their general neglect, I don’t think it would have made much of a difference anyway.
Aspergers was in the past thought to be a male only disorder but this has been dispelled in recent years. Today treatments are focused mostly upon the
young, and concentrate on improving communication. The majority of adults with Asperger’s, go undiagnosed,
the majority of adult women with Asperger’s, even more unlikely to be diagnosed because they present differently to males and can mask their differences better. Tony Attwood: Girls and women who have Asperger’s syndrome
Aspergers was in the past thought to be a male only disorder but this has been dispelled in recent years. Today treatments are focused mostly upon the young, and concentrate on improving communication. The majority of adults with Asperger’s, go undiagnosed, the majority of adult women with Asperger’s, even more unlikely to be diagnosed because they present differently to males and can mask their differences better. Tony Attwood: Girls and women who have Asperger’s syndrome
I am also inapt at sarcasm. People with Aspergers are known to take things people say quite literally. Some of this again is body language but some is that we use mostly logic in communication and thinking. Even among females, we have what is known as a ‘the male brain’. We may have problems understanding that people often communicate by not saying what they mean. This just does not seem to make any sense to us. When making sarcasm, others display subtle cues indicating it’s a joke., but of course we miss it, making us look totally stupid or gullible. One can often find oneself being taken advantage of by manipulative or dishonest people if rushed into decisions.
Interacting in a social group can be full of anxiety, a terrible minefield of potential miscommunication and misunderstandings, one never knows what the outcome of a social interaction will be, so I tend to hold back, making some people think I am snotty or aloof. Will I offend someone?, will I be laughed at, will I be rejected, will I get used?. Due to sensory overload, it takes me a while to process information and I may reply eager to participate and be a part of the social conversation, only to have everyone groan that , ‘we done talking about that ages ago’. Sometimes I have real problems with verbal communication. It’s so hard; I cannot form the words and sentences fluidly, so I have to rely on acting out well rehearsed lines and phrases like an actor, sometimes I can do this very well but sometimes I annoy people, who have heard them too many times and succeed in making myself appear boring or dull. It can be so frustrating communicating, often its easier to just withdraw altogether. But it’s not possible or an option I can accept. If I want to reach any of my goals in the world, I just have to keep trying, no matter the anxiety and the mistakes.
Aspergers people can have problems with co
ordination. I used to have this but have found great progress can be made by
learning co ordination manually, so to say. What does not come naturally can be
learnt. This is true in all things. I used to feel very uncomfortable in my
body. My gait was not so graceful and when I was young I got the nick name of
‘horse’ because of my plodding gait. I got plenty of scars from falls I made. As an adult practicing
aikido, helped me to connect with the motor-co ordinations. Somehow in the course
of the repetitive training, it seemed I downloaded a new script of how to move, that
seemed to facilitate the growth of new neural networking pathways in my brain. It was wonderful,
now I can spin and twirl, dance and have confidence in all my movements, on and
off the mat. It was such a boost to my self esteem. Movement therapy is very much promoted in the therapy of autistic children. Many such children improve their motor co ordination skills in practising a martial art like aikido. Also, engaging in a mutual, friendly, honest social activity with others, that does not rely on social chit chat and that's primarily non verbal, is of great benefit to ones emotional well being.
Aspergers people can have problems with co ordination. I used to have this but have found great progress can be made by learning co ordination manually, so to say. What does not come naturally can be learnt. This is true in all things. I used to feel very uncomfortable in my body. My gait was not so graceful and when I was young I got the nick name of ‘horse’ because of my plodding gait. I got plenty of scars from falls I made. As an adult practicing aikido, helped me to connect with the motor-co ordinations. Somehow in the course of the repetitive training, it seemed I downloaded a new script of how to move, that seemed to facilitate the growth of new neural networking pathways in my brain. It was wonderful, now I can spin and twirl, dance and have confidence in all my movements, on and off the mat. It was such a boost to my self esteem. Movement therapy is very much promoted in the therapy of autistic children. Many such children improve their motor co ordination skills in practising a martial art like aikido. Also, engaging in a mutual, friendly, honest social activity with others, that does not rely on social chit chat and that's primarily non verbal, is of great benefit to ones emotional well being.